Leadership sounds glamorous until you’re living it. Then it’s lonely. Trevor brought Steven Pena-Whalen onto Mind Over Matter to dig into a topic most people avoid—the real cost of leadership, the isolation that comes with spiritual growth, and what happens when your path forward means leaving people behind.
Steven is just 21 years old and already hosts his own podcast, The Ascension Show, where he tackles deep conversations around purpose, self-development, and faith. Trevor appeared on Steven’s show first, and the connection was so strong that getting him on Mind Over Matter was a no-brainer.
When Growth Costs You Friendships
One of the hardest truths about personal development is that not everyone comes with you. Trevor and Steven went deep on the experience of losing friends—not because of conflict, but because of growth. When your priorities shift, when you start taking your faith seriously, when you stop settling for surface-level relationships, the people around you either rise to meet you or fall away.
This isn’t just about leadership in a professional sense. It’s about the spiritual leadership that happens when you decide to live intentionally. For veterans especially, this hits home. The brotherhood of the military doesn’t always translate to civilian life, and finding your next circle requires vulnerability that most people aren’t willing to risk.
The Intersection of Spirituality and Entrepreneurship
Steven and Trevor explored how faith and entrepreneurship overlap in ways most people don’t talk about. Building something from nothing requires the same kind of trust that spiritual growth demands—faith in a process you can’t fully see, patience when results aren’t immediate, and the willingness to keep going when everything in you says to stop.
At 21, Steven brings a perspective that challenges the assumption that wisdom only comes with age. His awareness and depth caught Trevor off guard, and the conversation that followed was one of the most honest exchanges on the show about what it means to pursue something bigger than yourself.
Leadership Doesn’t Look Like What You Think
The military teaches a specific model of leadership—rank-based, hierarchical, mission-driven. But the kind of leadership Trevor and Steven discussed is different. It’s the leadership that happens when no one is watching. It’s choosing discipline over comfort. It’s showing up for yourself spiritually even when it would be easier to stay distracted.
That kind of leadership is lonely because most people aren’t doing it. And the loneliness isn’t a bug—it’s a feature. It’s the price of admission for a life that actually means something.
Connect With Steven
Check out Steven Pena-Whalen’s work through his website and find The Ascension Show on Spotify. Follow him on Instagram for more content on leadership and spiritual growth.
Support Trevor’s mission to combat veteran suicide at endsuicide.us and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.
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